Last month, I set myself a couple goals in regards to short fiction:
1. Finish Revising “Faces” and submit to first readers.
2. Revise “The Lady in the Watchtower” and submit to new short story market.
And I’m happy to report that I met them- even though Faces has been renamed The Dragon Guard. I also started working on the second draft of my novel, Hero of Darkwood, and so far things are progressing quicker than I though. I’m just over 30k into it right now, and as I suspect this final draft will top off at 85k. As a result, my goal for June will be to get as far as into this draft as possible. I’d love to get it out to my first readers in July, and be able to spend some more time on short fiction.
Usually, these monthly posts are just to keep me honest about what I’m actually getting accomplished, but during the past month or so, changes have occurred! As I’ve already mentioned here, two of my short stories were published. The Paper Doll in Inaccurate Realities Magazine, and Gretel in Luna Station Quarterly. This just boggles my mine. Little things, like being able to put “fantasy writer” instead of “aspiring fantasy writer” on my twitter and pinterest makes me crazy happy (as does getting paid for my writing!). But at the same time, its amazing how little being published changes things. I’m sure it’s a different experience for everyone (especially when you’re getting a book published!), but getting two stories published, with a third one coming out this July, doesn’t do anything about those constant insecurities lingering in the back of my brain. When I’m down, they call come rushing back. My writing is crap. My novels will never get off my laptop. Every piece of positive feedback I get from my first readers is just my friends being nice. I’m doing nothing more than wasted my time. I’d be better just letting myself get eight hours of sleep at night for once, rather than wake up an hour early every day to write.
I don’t like to talk about these insecurities here. I always feel like I’m whining, or fishing for compliments. That doesn’t change the fact that they exist. And the more time I spend on writing, reading about writing, and listening to other writers, the more I learn that it they don’t necessarily go away when you happen to find success. And the crazy thing about me? I don’t even have the external naysayers like a lot of writers do. My hubby is super supportive, as are my parents, my friends, even my in-laws. The fact that I can’t get over it, kind of makes me frustrated at times.
Anyway, to end on a positive note, next month the third of my short stories is set up be published (The Fox in The Lorelei Signal). This is one of the reasons I want to get working on short fiction again. I need more short stories to submit!